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WELCOME Youth & Families

HELPING HANDS

We know that friends are very important to teens and young adults. Whether online or in person, young people spend time with their peers and care what their peers think and do.

We also know that young people do a lot to help their friends. Young people tell us that friends tell them when they are having a hard time, when there are problems in their families, when they are worried about something, or when something difficult has happened to them.

When you see something happen (a fight, someone who seems upset, hearing someone being bullied or called names), you are what we call a bystander. You see or hear it, but you aren’t directly involved as the person doing the action or feeling upset. Bystander sounds like someone who just stands by and doesn’t do anything. But we know from research that most young people, when they do see something, especially someone they know who is upset or in trouble or who they are worried about, take some sort of action to try to help.

These actions take many forms. You might cause a distraction to interrupt the harmful thing that is going on (“is that your car getting a parking ticket?”). You might get other people involved so that you aren’t helping alone (“hey let’s go check on her to see if she is okay”; “let’s talk to the coach”). You might offer support and a listening ear. You might take a direct approach (“what you said was really hurtful”).

Different situations call for different helping since not all actions will be safe in all situations. How you help also depends on who you are as a person. There is no one right answer here. But it can be helpful to build your skills as a bystander to help support your friends and peers. Many schools offer prevention programs that include bystander training. It may be helpful to talk to your friends about how you might best support each other in different situations. You might talk to leaders at your school or in your workplace about bringing in prevention training.

We also know that being a bystander can sometimes be stressful for the bystander. So, make sure you are also getting help and support for yourself.

BYSTANDER
Bystanders are people who may not be directly involved in a situation as a person needing help or a person causing harm, but who see or hear about a person who might need help. Bystanders have the chance to act to support or help others and to help the situation have a good outcome.

Love

SUPERPOWER STRENGTHS

Young people have many strengths, their secret or not-so-secret superpowers. What are the things you like about yourself? What are things that bring you joy? Help you cope with stress?

These strengths don’t have to just be about you as a person, they may also be about the connections you have to other people (who are your friends? Who are trusted adults who you can go to with questions or worries?), what do you like about where you live or work or go to school?

When people use these different strengths to help them get through hard times, we call that resilience. Research on resilience shows us that there isn’t one magic strength you need to have. It is about having lots of different ones that might help you in different situations.

Important strengths include being able to understand and manage your feelings (maybe you exercise or talk to a friend or a counselor; listen to music; practice mindfulness; write in a journal; spend time with a dog or cat or other animal friend).

Healthy relationships can also help during difficult times. Who are the people who help you feel like you matter?

People also get wellbeing from having a sense of purpose — maybe by helping a neighbor or a family member, by being part of a spiritual community or a team.

The important thing is that we can build these strengths like muscles. They can get stronger if we practice.

RESILIENCE
Resilience is a process of experiencing wellbeing after trauma or adversity. Individuals, groups, communities have many strengths that help them cope with stress and with bad things that happen. These strengths help people build a good life even after negative things happen to them. This is resilience.
MINDFULNESS
Mindfulness is a way of being that involves being aware of the present moment, noticing different aspects of one's feelings, thoughts, body sensations and noticing them. It is also a set of practices or activities such as meditation that can help a person get into this state of noticing. These practices related to mindfulness have been studied as helpful way to cope with stress and to face difficult feelings or situations with a greater sense of calm and groundedness.
PURPOSE
Purpose as we use it in Project Lift Up is about a sense of commitment or connection to something that is bigger than yourself. It is a sense that through your actions (your work, your connections to others or to a value or idea) you are making a difference, creating change, or moving toward a goal that it important to you. Purpose is a strength that can support resilience and wellbeing and is a source of motivation in people's lives.

SOCIAL NETWORKS

Social networks are a group of friends who spend time together and have shared interests, values, and experiences. Social networks can help adolescents and young adults feel like they belong, build confidence, and provide support.

Social Networks

  • 37.7% strongly agree (another 28.8% somewhat agree) It’s easier to talk online with people that they know in person about things that are uncomfortable to say
  • 15.4% strongly agree (another 17.3% somewhat agree) that it’s easier to talk face to face about things that are uncomfortable for me to say
  • 22.8% strongly agree (another 24.4% somewhat agree) that they prefer to talk online with people they know in person when they are sad
  • 26.1% strongly agree (another 22.5% somewhat agree) that they prefer to talk face to face with people they know in person when they feel sad
  • 44.5% strongly agree that when they talk online to people that they first knew in person, they encourage them to make healthy choices (another 30.4% somewhat agree).

Source: Mitchell, KJ & Banyard, V (2021-2026). Understanding Bystanders for Self-Directed Violence Prevention: A Prospective National Study Highlighting Marginalized Youth and Young Adults. Sponsoring Agency: National Institute of Mental Health 2021-2026 Original Grant Number: R01MH128269, unpublished data.

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Mental Healthcare

Good mental health helps young people handle emotions, build resilience and strength, stay connected with others, have healthy relationships, and do well at school and work. Mental health concerns are unlikely to get better on their own, so it’s important to seek help. Barriers to getting mental health treatment exist — here’s what youth tell us about that.

Seeking Services

Many reported barriers that would affect their decision to seek treatment for a mental health problem from a professional, like a psychologist or counselor:

  • 34.5% said that to knowing where to get help was a barrier
  • 28.2% said that not having a way to get to a treatment center was a barrier
  • 39.9% said it was too hard to schedule an appointment
  • 51.1% said it would be hard getting time off work or school for treatment
  • 67.9% said getting treatment costs too much money

Source: Mitchell, KJ & Banyard, V (2021-2026). Understanding Bystanders for Self-Directed Violence Prevention: A Prospective National Study Highlighting Marginalized Youth and Young Adults. Sponsoring Agency: National Institute of Mental Health 2021-2026 Original Grant Number: R01MH128269, unpublished data.

MENTAL HEALTH
mental health is a word that covers a lot about how people think and feel about themselves. It doesn’t mean feeling happy all the time since everyone feels all sorts of different things. Mental health is about having tools or strategies that help you deal with stress and with the ups and downs of life so that you feel okay a good deal of the time about who you are as a person. Mental health concerns include things like depression, anxiety.

LIFT LINES

Everybody needs a lift sometimes. some words of wisdom from peers to help lift you up.

The hard times are golden because they all lead to better days.      /     
If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.      /     
It’s okay to prioritize yourself.     /     
Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.     /     
Celebrate every win no matter how small.     /     
You have writers who write about crazy characters but that doesn’t mean the writer himself is crazy.     /     
Wherever you go, go with all your heart.     /     
Success is the ability to leave failure behind without losing enthusiasm.     /     
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.     /     
Wake up everyday with that thought that something amazing is about to happen.     /     
Do things at your own pace. Life is not a race.     /     
It’s always darkest before the dawn or “Only in darkness can you see the stars.     /     
Just keep moving forward. Always.     /     
Do it and do it horribly; it means just go for it and show up, life’s about showing up not perfect.     /     
Sometimes you have to cut a little bit of yourself off, no matter how much it hurts, in order to grow.     /     
No matter how we choose to live, we both die at the end.     /     
Friends come and go but the ones that stay are family.     /     
I know love exists because I exist, and I am full of it.     /     
Bloom where you are planted.     /     
Remember, some things have to end for better things to begin.     /     
The poetry of earth is never dead.     /     
More love. Less hate.     /     
Work on yourself. For you yourself.     /     
Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.     /     
Aim for the moon and if you miss, land among the stars.     /     
Your direction is more important than your speed.     /     
Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time.     /     
Good things take time.     /     
If every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.     /     
It’s a marathon, not a race.     /     
You are worthy of all the things you want, even the things that feel out of reach.     /     
We do it because we believe we have something to offer.      /     
Be comforted deal soul! There is always light behind the clouds!      /     
Treat every day like it’s the good old days, because you’re living them right now.     /     
Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.     /     
     /     Try to be a rainbow is someone else’s cloud.
     /     Let it happen.
     /     You are loved.
     /     You don’t need a grand reason to live. The small things usually outweigh the big.
     /     I am patient. I am resilient. I am worthy. Today, I let go of things I cannot change.
     /     With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side.
     /     Keep hold of the small wins, the small joys, and use those as the steps to keep you going … “Collecting small things kept me going. Gotta stay to finish my collection. But in the process of making one collection, I found a new one and it kept going from there. It’s not a permanent fix, but it can at least help you until you are able to get help.
     /     Everyone can master a grief but he that has it.
     /     As long as you are breathing, you’ll grow. Everything heals, you just need time and hope.
     /     Birthdays tell how long you’ve been on the road, not how far you’ve traveled.
     /     It’s all about perspective.
     /     Wait and hope.
     /     The idea is not to live forever, but to create something that will.
     /     Balance is a process, not a definition.
     /     The true way to be happy is to do something to add to the happiness of others.
     /     Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.
     /     Be where your feet are.
     /     We cannot control the world around us. We can only control our responses to it.
     /     You have the courage to begin again.
     /     In response to “You’re pointless simply say “Thirty-nine buried. Zero found.
     /     You are loved unconditionally and with an unchanging love.
     /     You must take care of yourself to be able to care of others.
     /     Hold fast. Brave the storm.
     /     Stay close to anything around you that makes you glad you are alive.
     /     Don’t use your energy to worry. Use your energy to create, grow, and heal.
     /     Love yourself the way you love others.
     /     When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.
     /     I understand you; I care about you.
     /     There are too many flowers to smell and songs to listen to for me to stop going.
     /     To be loved is to be known: to be understood is to be witnessed.
     /     I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.
     /     Do not wait for the perfect conditions to start.
     /     There will be no end if you keep asking others’ approval. Be true to yourself and you will be free.
     /     Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has been a sign that you are alive.
     /     What a poor reason for refusing light, because the night is so dark.
Celebrate every win, no matter how small.     /     
Trust your intuition. If something feels right to you, it probably is right for you. Put yourself first.     /     
Better to be a lion for a day then a sheep all your life.     /     
And this too shall pass.     /     
If speaking kindly to plants can help them grow, imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do.     /     
A bad morning does not mean a bad day.     /     
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.     /     
Meh, I’ll make it. I always do.     /     
Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness.     /     
It is okay if all you do today is survive.     /     
Wake up every day with the thought that something amazing is about to happen.     /     
Hating people is like burning your own home to get rid of a rat.     /     
Happiness often sneaks through the door you didn’t know you left open.     /     
Always look for the helpers, you will always find people who are helping.     /     
At the end of the day it’s still you.     /     
Happiness is not by chance, but by choice.     /     
Even on the darkest days the sun will shine again.     /     
Be what you want others to be.     /     
The sleeper must awaken.     /     
Treat every day like it’s the good old days.     /     
If life doesn’t go right, go left. There’s always another path.     /     
Be gentle with yourself. You have the power to protect your peace.     /     
Self-Care: refers to the practices that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and enhance overall quality of life.     /     
Remember this: be kind to your mind. Kindness is beautiful. You got this.     /     
People lie and say what you want to hear, but nature won’t. Nature is life in its purest form.     /     
I’ve tried so hard to do right.     /     
A problem is a chance for you to do your best.     /     
The greatest glory in living lies not in the failing, but in the rising time when we fall.     /     
You are not your mistakes. They are what you did. Not who you are.     /     
Keep your face towards the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you.     /     
We cannot control the world around us. We can only control our response to it.     /     
It’s natural to cry don’t let people make you feel otherwise.      /     
Take the time it takes to take less time.     /     
God help those who help themselves.     /     

RESOURCES

HELPFUL LINKS FOR YOUTH & FAMILIES

We know it can be hard to know where to start when accessing mental health resources. If you are struggling and want to speak with someone about how you are feeling, here are a few trusted resources we encourage you to reach out to.

800-442-HOPE (4673)
Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a volunteer Crisis Counselor or visit www.crisistextline.org
For answers to general questions http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/
(LGBTQIA+ Resource) Text START to 678-678, call  1-866-488-7386, or chat online at https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/
National Sexual Assault Hotline Lifeline: 1-800-656-4673 Chat: via https://hotline.rainn.org/
Connect to mental health resources in your community
@seizetheawkward
 
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